Wednesday, January 5, 2011

So.... it's been a while

It's been a while since I posted to this blog, but as I've said, I just haven't had much to say about dating and being single lately. But it is a new year and perhaps I need to make some goals and observations... no, my goals won't include find a husband or get married by 36 or whatever. My goals will be about myself because that's how I will attract the right kind of guy in my life, but before I get to goal setting... let me catch you up on things.

I heard from the Disappearing Act... he said that he hadn't meant to leave me hanging and that isn't how he deals with issues but that he felt he needed some time to figure out what he wanted. Which is fair enough, but generally I'd have appreciated a little note saying that he needed some time to think on his own. KJ used to pull the disappearing act and it was excruciatingly painful and I refuse to go through that again... it just isn't my style. I need, want and expect more respect than being offered silence and nothing. I told DA (Disappearing Act) that and he responded that he understood that and was sorry that he hurt me and that he was just happy to have me in his life however he could have me (I had alluded to just being friends and if things happened and developed, then they did and if not, no big deal). So we started talking again... now... here is where it gets sticky or interesting. I'd met someone here who is a lovely distraction but not something serious. I like the guy and I am enjoying getting to know him but do I see it being long haul? No... he is from Tunisia, 7 years younger than me and just interested in fun and good times... so a good distraction, yes.... a long term relationship, no. Anywho... we met AFTER DA did his little act and so I didn't feel bad meeting or spending time with this guy. DA asked me in a recent conversation if I'd met someone and I told him yes I had but that it wasn't serious. He asked if we'd been physical (which really wasn't his business to ask, but we had) and I answered honestly... this is when DA flew off the handle and told me I was pretty much a hypocritical #(%&@. I chose not to discuss it further with him and thanked my lucky stars that I knew what kind of person he was before a proper relationship started... So, yea, that's where things are with all of that! So you are caught up... now on to some single life goal setting!!

This year I want to do a lot for myself.

I am setting the goal of losing some inches from the right places. And not for aesthetic reasons, but for health reasons. I want to lose about 6 inches in the waist and 10 inches in the hips. It's going to take a LOT of work and monitoring of what goes in my mouth, but I think a healthier me will be a happier me that loves herself more and is able to accept and give love better.

I am also setting the goal of nurturing my spirit and mind with good reading materials, research and study. Perhaps another masters will come out of it. I am currently looking into applying for a masters in Psychology and Counseling from a well-known university here in Turkey. Perhaps if I learn how to help others I will learn to take my own advice better and help myself along the way.

I am setting the goal of being upfront, honest and even a little demanding when it comes to relationships. I tend to put myself last in relationships and I believe that if you love someone, you put them higher than yourself. I still believe that, but if I don't feel the same kind of love from the other person, I won't stay. I won't put myself in last place again... not ever, and I WILL let the men I date know that up front.

I am setting the goal of gaining financial and personal freedom. Being bound by debt is not a good feeling and even though I won't be debt free at the end of this year, I will be closer to it and that makes me happy. I am currently investigating the sale of my vehicle in Canada (so if you are interested in a superbly maintained 2008 Ford Escape in Canada, drop me a line) and using that money to pay off that loan and put a large lump sum towards my credit card debt. I am in the middle of my 30s and have yet to take full financial control of my life... responsibility sure, but control, no! It's time!

I believe if I can do these things (and I believe that I can), then I will be in the right place for the right person. I have faith that God is watching over this and guiding these goals. Let's hope so!


  1. You go girl!!! These are awesome goals and I know you can achieve them! And as for D~ ...all I can say is whew! You are right about escaping a disaster! Wow.

  2. Great goals! I hope 2011 is a great year to be you :)

  3. Thanks friends... I think the goals are attainable and I'd like to ammend it by making some additional goals:

    1. Spiritual renewal... time to wake up a part of me that I have let sleep a long time. Time to get my soul revved up the way my mind and body are going to be.

    2. Relationships... time to break some patterns in my life but first I need to open my mind and see what those are and see what needs some fixing...

    I know it can all be done even though it seems and feels like a tall order.