Valentine's Day has never been a personal favourite holiday of mine. I always bought into the fact that it was a Hallmark holiday and meant for commercial purposes and that when a man didn't choose me on that day it was no big deal. But then, why did it and does it continue to feel like a big deal?! I think it stems from a lack of self confidence on my side and the constant intrusion on my brain from the media and marketing for the holiday. But just for interest's sake, I decided to do a little research on the history of the day and how the giving of cards and gifts came about. I found this interesting site that had lots of variations of where things came from and how the whole thing got started. And, guess what?! Nothing on there is about how Hallmark Greeting cards started the whole thing... So check it out and perhaps re-evaluate why you do or don't celebrate the day. I, for one, know in my mind that my man (I don't have one currently) can and should be celebrating the love between us on a daily basis, but for some reason it matters to be publicly proclaimed on that day too... so all you guys out there who scorn the commercialism and pressure of the day, think about what your partner would want... it could be as simple as a homemade card or a cup of coffee in bed to as complex and intricate as a fancy date out on the town... but don't just shrug your shoulders and blame Hallmark for the day... it's not their fault!
I love quotes. I feel like the wisdom of others can give so much to those of us who don't possess such wisdom. And since it is Valentine's month, I am going to share some quotes about love that I feel are poignant. I will share just one at a time and I will most likely forget to share as many as I know or come across... but here goes nothing!
"Life has taught us that love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction" - Antoine de Saint-Exupery
I found this one today and I like the perspective it has on love. I feel like though I may not possess romantic love, I know a lot about what it should be. I've been blessed to see it in my home with my parents' marriage... I've been blessed to see it blossom between friends and watch their marriages grow... I've been blessed to see it in the lives of family as they date, marry and grow together... and I've blessed to feel it once or twice (perhaps not as true as my blinded eyes wanted it to be, but my heart didn't know the difference at the time). This quote reminds me that it's not always about the other person as much as it is about sharing a vision in life and a path. I love that. Sometimes love isn't about me or you, it's about us.
There are only 3 times that I truly miss being part of a relationship.
The first is obvious: Valentine's Day. I miss being part of a partnership and relationship because this day is the day that most couples really show love for another in a public way. I don't know why I miss it since none of the men I've ever dated celebrated the holiday at all, but I guess I miss the idea of what that day could represent. I do love that I can show love for myself on that day and I do... I haven't decided what to give myself this year...
The second time I miss being in a relationship is when I want to share the joy with someone. Sometimes when something good or funny happens, I just want to call my special someone and share it with them. I know, I know, I can share it with all the wonderful friends and family that I have been blessed with but somehow it's not the same. Close, but not quite.
The third time I miss being in a relationship is days like today. I woke up with the most excruciatingly painful kink in my neck/spine. It's made it so I can't lift my head up, I can't turn to the side and nothing feels comfortable. Days like this I wish that I had a significant other who'd want to take care of me, make me soup or rub my overly tense shoulders. I miss that... I miss being cared for the most.
"Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself." - George Bernard Shaw
I subscribe on Facebook to a "Quote Daddy" application where they send you quotes everyday and the one above was the one for today. As I move into this year, this is what I plan to keep doing. I will create myself. I think perhaps all the time I've spent trying to find myself or find out who I was/am has been time not wasted, but misguided. I've begun to dub this year as the journey of my soul year. It's the year when I concentrate on getting all my life in order, from my finances to my heart. This blog is dedicated to living the single life and what it's like to do that in your mid-thirties. It's not always a ball of fun and games, but it isn't horrible either. I'm ready now to stop trying to find my single self but to create my single self. And when I say create, I am not talking about designing an ideal physical or personal being but of allowing myself to be myself. I'm talking about NOT conforming to what other people think I should be, but instead listening to the deepest voice in my soul that comes from within and without.
So, single folk, join me on the journey... and married/commited folk too... life is too short to let someone else define it for us or to think we are lost... let's be created!! <3
Happy February, the month of love... let's love ourselves for a change!