So, I made this wonderful promise to myself to no longer be foolish in dating and (more importantly) to keep fools out of my dating life (and life in general for that matter), but being lonely, I wondered if I would fail the test when the time came or if I would be able to stand my ground. Well, the test came. I met a guy (online, is there any other way to meet someone these days?) and we chatted for a few hours. He came across smart and well put together. So then we started texting one another and I really enjoyed how he seemed to think of me and to text me all the time. He wanted a date this weekend and I said yes. I had told him that I was not interested in moving too fast or anything as that seemed to be a mistake of my past and he told me not to build walls... now, I didn't think it was a wall necessarily, just and honest admission and a hope to be more aware in the future... but maybe that's not the way it comes across, who knows?! So I let that go until last night. Here is the general idea of our text conversation:
Him: hey, what's up?
Me: not much...just wondering. (I have to tell you here that it was Friday night and he hadn't formalized any plans of any sort, nor had he sent any messages for a day or two... the latter not being much of an issue, but you get the idea)
Him: wondering what?
Me: wondering what's going on for the weekend.
Him: Me too, you got kinda quiet.
Me: I got quiet because you did... not gonna chase you down! hahaha
Him: Be sweet, never asked you to chase me... I detect a wall going up.
Me: why do you see walls where there are none?
Him: okay, just seems like you have a men are all dogs things going. I am not your other men, those were YOUR mistakes.
Me: wow, enough said.
Me: I don't really appreciate being insulted like that. I have nothing but respect for my past men... sure, mistakes were made, but on both sides.
Him: just saying.
Me: Maybe you are the one projecting, maybe your past women were man haters, but I'm not.
Him: no, they were lovers, loved me.
Him: smile, buddy.
Me:(silence.... I mean, really, what does one say to that?!)
Him: or not.
Me: I really don't know what to say to someone who insults me and doesn't even know me... someone who I was interested in having a date with.
Him: wasn't meant to insult, was meant to loosen you up a little.And your use of the past tense was makes me think you aren't interested anymore.
Me: if was anymore loosened up, I'd stop breathing! And I have lost interest. I don't like being insulted before I even meet a person.
Me (again): and to be honest, you should like me for me... it's simple. Whether I am high strung or laid back.
Him: nah, see now I lost interest.
Me: no worries, you were just one in the sea of many.
Me: just saying (and then I deleted him contact info from my phone)
So... how did I do, gang? My roomie was insulted on my behalf when I read her his messages and my responses last night. She said good riddance to bad rubbish (which I agree with). Did I pass one of the first tests of my promise to myself? I think so. Yah me!
"The Perfect Relationship"
9 years ago