Friday, June 4, 2010

Too Much...

Perhaps I am too much sometimes. As I explained to the guy I really like, I just don't know how to fall in love a little at a time, or to stop halfway. I am an all or nothing kind of girl, and some people find that too much. I commit fully to whatever it is that I am doing. So if I find something funny, I commit to laughing wholeheartedly (and for those of you that know me, that's pretty loud). I don't really know how to snicker quietly in the corner or how to laugh softly. I throw my head back, open my mouth and let out a good, loud laugh (which my ex told me was too loud for him... guess I was too much for him, meh). I am that way in like and love... I go in with both feet. Now, I tend to think that this is a quirky, but endearing trait. However, I am getting the idea these days that most men don't feel the same. Perhaps they are intimidated by my full embrace of things in my life (funny, sad, angry, loving, amusing, whatever life throws at me), or perhaps it is a turn off. I don't really know... but today as I was laughing out loud with a couple of friends over silly stories of living in a foreign land, I thought about it. Perhaps it's too much... and that's okay. I don't mind being too much if it means that I am living life to the fullest. One thing I know I will never do again in a relationship is tailor myself just to the needs of the other person and thereby lose myself in the process. I am all about making compromises and sacrifices to serve the one I am with, but I will not alter the essence of who I am... and being less than too much would be doing that.

6 comments:

  1. Most guys are trained to NOT show their emotions. It is not "manly". So "too much" terrifies them. They honestly don't know how to deal with it! And btw, is not "too much". It is living life 100%. YOU GO GIRL!!!

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  2. Think we're now blogging together! (I just posted a new one too). But I totally relate to this! You articulate it a nice way that truly represents the essence. You deserve the best which means finding a guy who adores that "quirky" aspect of you rather than being intimidated by it!

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  3. You don't laugh that loud!

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  4. Amanda says:
    You are not too much!!! You are just right!!!

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  5. Aw... thanks friends... I feel just right. I feel like a part of me that was missing for the past 2+ years is coming back. :)

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  6. Your laugh is one of my favorite parts of you. :) Don't EVER change that!!

    love you, Sophia

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