Tuesday, June 22, 2010


So lately, and maybe I am being overly sensitive but I don't think so, I've been called Mrs. a lot. It happens lots of times with the students or the parents of students, but I kind of expect that. First of all, 90% of kids think that women over 18 are old and therefore must be married. I don't know how they equate old with being married, but it seems to be the case for the most part. So that's been happening to me since I was a student teacher and I am over that and trying to tell them that Mrs. C is my mom and I am just Miss C. As for the parents, somewhere along the line, it's gotten in to the heads of most adults that female teachers are married. Most of them realize their mistake right after the Mrs. is out of their mouth and I always laugh and let it go. In the school setting it doesn't really bother me that much. Other teachers and several principals have dropped the Mrs. in front of my name as well. Never seemed to make me notice all that much.

However, lately, it's been happening everywhere I go. When I hand over a credit card the server returns it with a "Here you are Mrs. C" and I am often too shocked to respond. Then the banker who was helping me close my account (where it clearly states that I am single on the information sheet) called me a Mrs. C the other day. I, again, was too shocked to respond. And then today as I was picking up my vehicle from having its oil changed the girl behind the counter said "Mrs. C, your car is ready." I was shocked, but I did respond... I said, "Not a Mrs. yet, still haven't found the Mr. special enough to make that happen. hahaha It's just Miss." I think I shocked her. At first she did a double take of my face (I did look a little ragged this morning having just begun the true recovery from the flu) as if to assure herself that I was really as old as I am. Then she smiled and said, no rush dear. hahahaha

I guess I am at the age now, where it's more expected and assumed that I MUST be married. Well, guess what world?! SURPRISE!! Not all 30-somethings are married yet. Some of us are still holding out for the best there is, or the best there is for us just hasn't stepped in our paths yet. And initially we don't feel like there is such a rush except that the rest of the world seems to want to rush us into that space of feeling rushed with all the Mrs. this and Mrs. that, or the odd looks when they put together the age and the single status. *sigh* Dear society, LAY OFF!! Let's let God do His work and stop making people fuss about it all... it would be a lot easier on the single people of the world and you might have a few less frazzled single women if they didn't feel the societal pressure to hurry-up-and-no-pressure-how-old-are-you-anyway-get-married already!!


  1. You know how I feel about societal expectations and subsequent pressures associated with relationships. I definitely share your frustration but I try to remind myself (as you note) its in God's time not my own and I'd rather be single and hold out for the best than to settle simply so I'm not alone. It seems to me that A LOT of people settle when it comes to relationships which makes me sad. And fortunately even though we are spread out, there are other strong, independent, amazing single ladies (like yourself) who I can relate to and I'm thankful for that!

  2. I know exactly what you mean but I do think it is a particularly American thing (in my experience anyway). I found that many of my students and colleagues didn't even think/know the difference between Miss and Mrs. Even when I was only 24 everyone used the phrase Mrs to describe me, when I picked people up on it they would seem so surprised. In Australia I find it happens much less. Though now as I get older I am finding people are using "Ms" as my title but as someone once told me, advertise your singleness with "Miss" :-)