Thursday, June 10, 2010


... is deafening. Have you ever noticed that sometimes, particularly in relationships, silence is the loudest sound? It carries with it all the things you don't want to hear. It carries with it all your fears. It leaves you to the worry and the worst that your brain and heart can devise. I always hate when people say that no news (silence) is good news. How can this be? Isn't it much better to know how things are going?
The reason I write this is because the person I was (or am... who knows?!) seeing (sorta, I guess, I don't really know) is not very good at communicating. He doesn't seem to get that the silence makes me feel deaf to what is going on between us. I am a communicator and need to speak my feelings and mind and I need to hear it from others. He knows what I am feeling but never responds unless I make an assumption (I know, I know... Ass... U... me.... I get it) that he doesn't want to be with me. Then I'm told that I am reading too much into things or that I just don't get it... really?!?! Doesn't the silence teach me that I am not important enough for your words? Doesn't the silence teach me that I am not on your mind? Doesn't the silence teach me that this "relationship" really isn't there? *sigh* I don't know what to think, but I do know what I feel and that is that the silence is deafening.


  1. Gosh honey...I don't know ANY man who is good at communicating! But I agree with you that silence can be deafening!

  2. hmmmm...the last guy I dated was like this...there is a reason he was the last guy i dated....7/8 years ago...and it was more than just his was what he was doing with whom that he was silent...:(

  3. I feel for you! I also need to hear things and my man isn't always the best at it. He's a 'no news is good news' guy and I'm the opposite. I'm even like that at work, if I'm not being told I'm doing a good job, its hard for me not to assume they're getting ready to fire me or something.

    Recently we were away with another couple and it was a busy trip so he barely spoke to me; however, when he did it was to blame me for things that went wrong. I lit into him when we got home and he tried to tell me that he only said a few things and I was exagerating by claiming he was mean all weekend. I asked him if he really expected me to take silence as his version of being nice to me and (lucky for him) I got a genuine apology. I have to remind him of this kind of thing at least once a year, but at least he'll take the time to try to see it my way too. It's really shocking that men and women are the same species eh? Our brains work so differently.

  4. Zabe... you are speaking my language, girl!! I know it's not too much to ask for regular communication and to know where things stand, but guys tend to think that it's A LOT. *sigh* I need to find men who can appreciate and attempt to meet my needs... so if you know of any that like a tall, slightly neurotic, chubby girl with a huge heart... let me know!! :)