Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Mr. Right, Mr. Good Enough, Mr. Wrong

Okay... I think people have the wrong idea of what I want in a man. Yes, I made a man combo... aka the fantasy man. But seriously, could no one see that it was a lot tongue in cheek?! I love all the good things about the men of my past and I even loved some of the faults that they had. So I think that when I am searching for the next man in my life, I am not looking for Prince Charming. I am not so niave to think that that person exists, I know he doesn't. My only uncompromising things are that he is a Christian, that he is kind and that he makes me laugh. After that, all the rest is bonus. With my last boyfriend who turned out to be Mr. Wrong, I told him that I loved all of him: the man he was, the man he wasn't and the man he was striving to be. I accepted his faults as part of who he was and I took my faults to heart and worked hard to be a better person for him. I was hurt and humiliated by him but I often forgave him and moved forward with him, knowing that he wasn't perfect, but at the time I believe he was my Mr. Right. I was wrong and am still healing from that (so please forgive me for having a bit of a wall up still, I need to guard and protect my heart better than I do).
As for settling for Mr. Good Enough, I just can't. I mean, sure, I could... there is a Mr. Good Enough chasing me in my life right now, but he doesn't make me laugh, I feel no passion for him and mostly he just annoys me... so is that what I should take? Is that good enough for a life time?! I just don't know.
So forgive me readers and friends, but I am going to wait around for good enough, I am going to find Mr. Right (with all his faults, failings and successes).


  1. It seems like you have a very realistic expectation of relationships. I agree that you definitely should not settle for anything less than what you deserve, and you deserve much more than "Mr. Good Enough!"

  2. I think you misunderstood my "Mr Good Enough" Mr Good Enough is Mr Right, he's just not Mr Perfect. The book I recommended has a misleading title. The point is Mr Right won't be Mr Perfect. If you understand that, then you're doing good.

    Now that I've read a bit more, it sounds like you've been too forgiving in the past, so now you've got a bit of a wall up. However, if the wall is deflecting guys who just want you for sex then that's not necessarily bad.

    The reason I wrote before was because on the few dates you've wrote about, you'd made comments that make it sound like you lay down the law with guys pretty early and start counting strikes against them. It sounds like the strikes are on more superficial things rather than a matching of personality and core values. Maybe I was just missing details though.

    I almost wonder if you should make a real list, not just the one you did in jest. I know you said that your only uncompromising aspect is religion, but your posts don't sound like that. You sound like you want sweep-me-off-my-feet romance. That's a real rarity with men (and often found in men looking for a good time rather than a life-partner), so if that's as big as it sounds, then that really narrows down your choices. But maybe I'm wrong and you wouldn't see it as settling to have a guy whose version of romance is as simple as hugs, helping you with things, and the occational candle-light dinner.

    Anyway, good for you in not settling for someone you don't click with. I would never recommend that!

  3. Anonymous... I am so glad that you have stopped by again! :) I do enjoy your comments very much and I like that you challenge me to think more deeply about the whole thing... As for wanting sweep-me-off-my-feet-romance... sure! I'll take the odd day of that too, but really I just love to spend time with my partner, to share laughs and the little things are what counts. :)