Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Facing the Truth

So today I got a call from the guy that I've seen a few times and that I really like. He was sweet, funny, flirty and reaffirmed why I like him so much. But he is also the guy that used the excuse that I am a foreigner as a reason not to pursue me further... he is also the guy that doesn't call or email or anything for weeks on end and thinks that is okay. During the phone call it came up and he talked about my decision to move to Turkey as the reason why we weren't together. At that moment, the truth reared it's ugly head at me and at him. As I began telling him about my decision to leave the US, the reality hit me: I am running away from being lonely. At least if I start somewhere new, I'm lonely because I am new there. But if I stay here and keep things going with him... I just get to be lonely. I can't stand to be lonely anymore... so I just keep running.
There, the truth is out... in print, for everyone to read. *sigh* And as the truth can, it hurts. But as it can, it will also heal hopefully.

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