Choices

So last week I struggled with feeling like a second choice sally... this week, I've come to realise (and I think I did then too... at least after I wrote the blog entry and had a little time to reflect and become more rational) that I am in control of how I feel and what I feel. I went out again and the same guy was out with my friends and I decided that regardless, I was going to have fun. That was my intention for the evening and that is how I played it out. I went, enjoyed a wonderful dinner with some ladies and then went out dancing with a big group. I kept my focus on enjoying my time and enjoying the time spent with friends. As I am in a state of limbo, I really have no business getting all caught up in flirtations and liking some random guy. And you know what?! I had the best time... chatted with the guy a little and seemed to have struck a balance of normalcy and friendship. What a great night of laughing and dancing... just what I needed.
Lesson learned... regardless of what others do and what my expectations are for an evening... I am the ONLY on who can control how I react and how I intentionally go about enjoying myself. Ah... nice to move back in the direction of becoming the woman I was always intended to be!