A blog by a woman who simply can't make relationships work, so instead of wallowing in self-pity, she decided to explore singleness with some humour and honesty.
Friday, August 20, 2010
So, as many of you know, I've had a lot of ups and downs in my dating life lately. I've been using this blog as a way to journal about them, talk about what's going on in my life, reflect on who I am becoming and seek advice from readers (even from strangers... zabe gives good solid advice and encouragement and I don't even know her!!). Lately, I've been so busy adjusting to my new life in Ankara, I just haven't had much time to think about romance etc. Nor have I wanted to. I've been so happy just living my life, laughing out loud often and learning about this place, the people and the language that dwelling on romance has taken a back seat. I never really thought about it until today when I was looking at Will's FB page. I love that we are reconnected as friends and that I can look to his page to find his sage words about God and following the good example set by Jesus. I love seeing his passion for life in general. What I noticed today is that I just felt happy looking at his updates. Previously I had felt a sense of loss because of a failed romance. But today, I just felt happy, happy for him and happy for knowing him as a person. I don't know if it means I am over him or if it means that we will never be or what... but I do know that it felt like a revelation. Gone was the sadness and sense of loss, gone was the longing to be with him. It was replaced with just the simple feeling of happiness and a lot can be said for that feeling. As for my other exes, no, they don't even enter my mind at all... which I feel is a blessing. Seems like Ankara was a good move for me, it's given me the space I so desperately needed to get my head on straight again and to work on being the person I was meant to be all along... a happy, confident, caring soul that shines a bright light onto the world.