Friday, August 20, 2010

Revelation

So, as many of you know, I've had a lot of ups and downs in my dating life lately. I've been using this blog as a way to journal about them, talk about what's going on in my life, reflect on who I am becoming and seek advice from readers (even from strangers... zabe gives good solid advice and encouragement and I don't even know her!!). Lately, I've been so busy adjusting to my new life in Ankara, I just haven't had much time to think about romance etc. Nor have I wanted to. I've been so happy just living my life, laughing out loud often and learning about this place, the people and the language that dwelling on romance has taken a back seat. I never really thought about it until today when I was looking at Will's FB page. I love that we are reconnected as friends and that I can look to his page to find his sage words about God and following the good example set by Jesus. I love seeing his passion for life in general. What I noticed today is that I just felt happy looking at his updates. Previously I had felt a sense of loss because of a failed romance. But today, I just felt happy, happy for him and happy for knowing him as a person. I don't know if it means I am over him or if it means that we will never be or what... but I do know that it felt like a revelation. Gone was the sadness and sense of loss, gone was the longing to be with him. It was replaced with just the simple feeling of happiness and a lot can be said for that feeling. As for my other exes, no, they don't even enter my mind at all... which I feel is a blessing. Seems like Ankara was a good move for me, it's given me the space I so desperately needed to get my head on straight again and to work on being the person I was meant to be all along... a happy, confident, caring soul that shines a bright light onto the world.

6 comments:

  1. Ditto to what Katrina said! You make me smile! :)

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  2. Sam Jones to your Carrie? Miranda? Charlotte?August 20, 2010 at 10:59 PM

    Wooohoooo!!!!

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  3. It sounds like this move is a real blessing for you, I can't wait to hear how it continues to enrich your life and your understanding of you. Thanks for the shout-out, I love your blog!

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  4. that's the way it should be, Angela : enjoying living your own life.. it sounds like Ankara is the end of your breakup tunnel, and a new beginning!
    God bless you <3

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  5. A break-up tunnel... I like that terminology Nicolas!! I think that's the way I will look at it.... it's been a long and hard tunnel (made harder by some of my choices), but the sunshine is more than peaking through and I am nearly at the end... it's good.

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