A blog by a woman who simply can't make relationships work, so instead of wallowing in self-pity, she decided to explore singleness with some humour and honesty.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
The other day I was enjoying my life and thinking about how blessed I am in reality (which can be very different from how I can view things depending on my mood). I was reflecting on how much I love my family, my friends, my hometown area and my country. I was thinking about how I've been through some pretty low lows and how I've still managed to feel like God holds me in His hands (even though during those low lows I had serious doubts). As I was reflecting and feeling rather contented, I began to realize that I have made some mistakes. The man I was sort of, kind of seeing before I left the US was a REALLY good guy... I saw so much of a future with him but my eyes were also so scared from my past relationship with Kelvin. I projected a lot of that hurt onto things that Will did or didn't do and I began to see how unfair that was. Sure, Will wasn't perfect and he made errors too, but I finally began to realize the mistakes I made. And even though I am an emotional, passionate person who wears her heart on her sleeve... and even though I like to think that I do no wrong (hahahahHAHAHahahaha yea right!!)... and even though I wanted so bad for Will to 'fess up to his errors and verbalize things to me first, I contacted him first. I let him know how grateful I was to know him and even (hopefully) count him among my friends and how sorry I was for my part... and you know what? If felt good... it felt like a release. Even more so because it opened a good dialogue between us as friends... I'm grateful for that too.