Thursday, February 11, 2010

A Promise

I've decided to make a promise to myself this Valentine's Day. This day, as I've said before, is the worst day for me. It makes me feel more alone, more sad and more pathetic than ever. Every year, I have been disappointed this day. Even when I was in relationships and seemingly happy, I was disappointed. The men I have dated, think that Valentine's Day is a silly holiday not worth celebrating... which leads me to believe that the relationships I was in were not worth much to them. Because, to me anyway, it stands to reason that if you tell someone that you love them (as I was told) that on the day that celebrates love all around the world, that you would find a way to tell that person. It's not that I needed to have all the glittery things in life, but a card... shoot... even a text message. I'm not that hard to please, but I am a woman and I want to be cherished and recognized for the value that I have to the person that I am in a relationship with... and I don't want to have to ask for it... love isn't about begging to be shown that love... but I was made to beg for it. So this year, I'm taking a different path. This year, I am choosing to still hate this holiday for all the pain it's brought me but to love myself instead of waiting for love. I am buying myself a promise ring as a symbol of my promise to myself to never be gullible and foolhardy in a relationship again. I am usually so easily drawn in and trusting of men and I just can't be that anymore... so this ring will be a symbol of how I am WORTH it!

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