Friday, October 28, 2011

Vacationing Alone... AGAIN

So, I've become that woman... the one that takes all her holidays alone, or stays home and takes care of other people's pets instead of being invited to travel with them. It's just hit me today as I'm sitting here trying to think of what to do with the winter break that is coming up in December. I live internationally, so people use it as a time to travel, see family and generally have fun. I was really lucky last year to have a few of my closest friends choose to come and see me, but this year, it looks like I'm traveling solo. I am so tired of it. I'm tired of going to parties and events solo, I'm tired of traveling solo and I'm tired of being asked to look after people's pets instead of being invited to take a trip as part of a group of friends. Am I really that miserable of a person? I don't think I am... I'm pretty happy for the most part. I love to be social and to hang out with people, I love to organize trips and parties, I love to laugh and I love to be included most of all. Maybe people think I prefer being solo... OH GOD!! Does this mean I'm in the old maid category?!?! Probably... *sigh*
I guess I should stop having a pity party about being alone, I know lots of my married friends would tell me that I should be so blessed as to be able to travel alone, go where I want, when I want. But they aren't seeing the blessings in their own lives either... they always have someone to talk to and share meals with on vacations. They get to take pictures together and they don't have to take that always horrible, never cute photo of themselves with the long arm. hahaha They get to create memories and reminisce over them for years to come. There is someone to laugh with when things are funny and someone to help you when you feel lost or frustrated.
I know, I know, the grass is always greener on the other side, right? But I've said it before and I will say it again... I understand that relationships and marriages are truly hard work. I know that it isn't all sunny skies and rainbows. But I can pretty much guarantee that all my married friends who read this and tell me I'm blessed to be single would NEVER give up their husbands if push came to shove... they'd never trade their lives. But I'd trade my single life in a heartbeat.


  1. Oh friend, I'm sorry you are feeling down! I won't say I'm not jealous of your life... I am. I've been married since the age of 19. In many ways, I've never been able to figure out who I am apart from being a wife. But like you said, the grass is always greener! There are pros and cons to both. There is often loneliness in both singledom AND in marriage. But I do agree with you that it's hard to make memories when you are by yourself. :( I hope that I can go on one of those fabuluous vacations with you some day! If there's one thing I seriously lack in my life, it's girl time for sure!! Know that you are loved xoxo

  2. If push came to shove....I just might. SK

  3. Amen. I agree 1000%. I have been pretty depressed lately too about my aloneness...not just in the travel sense, but just to do coffee, out for a drink (haven't done that in well over 5 years!!), etc...

  4. SK... I knew you would put that comment and it brought a smile to my face...
    April... thank you mama... I love you too and I know that it's not easier in any life... I'd love to vacation with you!! <3
    Katrina... and you do it with kids... even harder! I look at you and wonder how you do it, it's helpful to know it's a struggle too... to know I'm not alone in the struggle really helps me sometimes.
    And for my friends that ask me to take care of your pets... I know you ask because you trust me and you know I love pets, so please don't think I don't want to take care of them... if I didn't, I would say no. I can do that... I'm just being hit with a tidal wave of loneliness right now is all. <3

  5. Sorry you're feeling lonely. I feel like that when hubby travels, I wonder why I'm married but still living like I'm single! It is hard when you have girlfriends can't or don't want to vaca or go out without the hubby. I had a great group of girls when I was overseas, we met at a Meetup group for ladies and we got together often. You're right that I wouldn't trade him.. but just barely! I miss those girls!

    I hope hope you'll find a good local-girlfriend to keep you company until you find Mr Right (and afterwards too, a good girlfriend is forever!)