Tuesday, July 26, 2011


The thing that has and still does bother me the most about my failed relationship is the loss of the friendship. Now, granted, I haven't always been friends with every guy I have dated. Some I dated for physical reasons or dated just to have someone to date, but there have been a few that started as a friendship or developed into relationships that had a strong element of friendship. I also hate the loss of the friends you make through the relationship. Its the one thing I would want to preserve out of a past relationship (not all of them, let's be honest).

I've been fortunate to maintain somewhat of a friendship with one of my exes... Don. He's been great. He supports me in my endeavours professionally and personally and I am able to do the same with him. It wasn't always easy to be friends with him (that's why I say somewhat of a friendship) because I would often get things crossed in my brain depending on my current relationship status or the kindnesses he would send my way.

I've also been fortunate to keep a good friendship with a man I once dated, John. We only dated briefly and then it fizzled into what has become a great friendship. He was there when I was broken-hearted once... driving over an hour to sit by my side, let me cry and encourage me to move forward with my life. He's married so lines don't get crossed there and I am so happy for him and thankful that we could be friends in the truest nature of the word.

But I regret that my longest relationship that was built on friendship, ended without closure and in heartache with no friendship left. I definitely wasn't ready for any kind of friendship initially after the break-up. I needed to mourn the loss first, then I needed to be angry at it all and then I finally needed to accept it and move on. I've done all those things and it's taken me quite a while but I miss the friendship. I miss joking about silly things, talking about stresses and having that great sounding board. I miss being those things for him too. I also really miss some of the people that he introduced me too... so if you ever read this, KJ... drop me a line... let me know how you are and what you've been up to. I hope you are happy and in another relationship that fits the bill for you. I miss the friendship we had... I miss Tez and M.J. and hope they are well too. Since I can't contact or talk to you, this is the best I could do.


  1. I hope he reads this and contacts you! You are an amazing friend. :)

  2. I hope he does too and if he doesn't... well... then I've done all I can to try and repair that friendship and I will just have to let it go... sad as that is.

  3. I can truly relate to this. I have recently started to view myself as chronically single after a slue of brief, and failed relationships since my divorce in 2002. Not one was what I would call a serious relationship. However, the longest one was an on and off over seven years that recently really ended once we tried to make it serious. The man was honestly not really emotionally available to me regardless of what ever love or care he had for me. I found that he had other women in his life for lord knows how long. Funny what you learn when opening a text on the wrong phone. But, I think that I now realize that I very well may be alone for the rest of my life like my grandma. And I have to be ok with that.

  4. It's hard to be okay with it... I got through stages of being fine with it because I am learning my own worth and strength and then there are days where I just want to share myself, my life and my experiences with someone who cares about them and me...