I hope my friend will forgive me for posting this (I won't use names or anything, but the inspiration for this post comes from a very real situation) but I feel like I am fed up with the excuse of FEAR.
If you don't know what I am talking about, it's when your significant other breaks up with you and the only reason that they give is that the commitment scares them. Really?! Didn't you think it would scare me too?
*sigh* I speak from experience on this one too. My last serious relationship and a minor one after that ended due to fear. In the serious relationship, my boyfriend decided that the fear of not knowing if it would last forever was too much. He began to doubt his feelings, his desires, if he was capable of being married. Basically it was fear of commitment. In the minor relationship it boiled down to the same thing: fear. He was afraid of asking me to stay around to try it out. He was afraid to see where things could go and when I decided that I needed to put me first, he became afraid of distance and the kind of "character" I had.
Well, here is what I have to say to that: GROW THE HELL UP! Sorry.... but it makes me mad. Fear is valid, but it's not a valid excuse to end a relationship or to not try something new or to not take a chance. As taken from another friend's facebook status:
And we have all been scared and embarrassed and hurt. And it's never fun, but it makes life for the living. From the moment we are born, we are already on dying. It's just that simple. After that first breath, we could be breathing our last. We just never know and if we tuck into our shell like the picture, then we aren't living. God gave us life for living, for enjoying, for making the most of in honour to Him. And when we are afraid to take steps forward in our life, we are just hiding in the dark doing a disservice to ourselves.
So if you are in a relationship that isn't working... figure out why it isn't working and get out for THAT reason, not because you are afraid. If you are in a relationship and you are afraid, talk about it with your partner. I know that I sure wish KJ had done that with me. I was scared too, but I was willing to swallow my fear and some of my pride and ride the bumpy road together because the one thing I was sure of was that I loved him enough to try.
Relationships and life are scary, they just are. But it doesn't mean that we hide, or shrink away. We have to try, to fight our fears and stop sinking into them.
I hope none of you ever has to hear the excuse of fear in a relationship that you are in ever again. It's a lame excuse. If we all gave in to our fears, nothing would get done or happen anywhere in the world. We'd all just be in our own little dark shells waiting for someone else to grow the balls it takes to take a step outside.