|1.||the act of closing; the state of being closed.|
|2.||a bringing to an end; conclusion.|
|3.||something that closes or shuts.|
At the end of a relationship, we ask for all these things too but seldom do we get them. In my recently ended relationship, I thought I needed closure through a conversation. I had (and still have to be honest) a lot of questions about what happened or didn't happen. I wanted (and believed that I needed) to know where it went wrong, what I did wrong, what I did right, when things changed for us, why things changed, why he lied so blatantly when we'd pledged to be honest at all times, why the communication died... I know that he may not have had answers and most of the answers he would have had I really would not have wanted to hear, but I felt like if I could just ask them to him, or have my say that I would feel an ending to our relationship. Unfortunately, this one request was denied (I'd like to point out that it was one of the very few requests I ever made in the two years that we dated) and I have been feeling lost and in limbo. But this past weekend I went and spent some time with one of my many wise and wonderful friends and we talked a lot about my relationship and hers. It was so good to speak to her and hear her objective perspective and surprising thoughts. The most surprising, honest and best advice she gave to me was to tell me that I had to MAKE my own closure. I chewed on this thought for a long time, even on and off all day today and I decided that this blog just might be my closure. This blog offers me something that Kelvin never did, a place to voice my thoughts and feelings without fear or trepidation. So thank you readers for being part of my closure... hopefully as you witness my progress in this you won't be bored with my honesty or my need to re-hash things several times before I am done with it. Thank you for reading.