Monday, November 28, 2011

Dumb Dudes

Or I could just call them duds because that's what they turn out to be. This may make me the dumb one (probably does), but I tend to date the same guy over and over. I know I've written about this before but it still boggles my mind and I'm trying to sort out how I find them, why I date them and, most importantly, how to break this pattern in my life. Let me tell you about some of the guys I've dated in the past couple of years and perhaps YOU can find the pattern and help me out. These are in no particular order... just a random sampling from the past couple of years.

#1. The Ex-Jock. He played football in college and was meant to be going somewhere with it when injury struck and changed his trajectory in life. Instead he worked with insurance and traveled a lot. He was cocky, super confident, a little old fashioned in treating women in the sense that he liked to open doors etc. He talked a lot about himself and sent very confusing and conflicting messages where our "relationship" was concerned. He stood me up once, begged a second chance (and got it) and then began the game of cat and mouse where communication was concerned.

#2. The Turk. He is also a teacher and a general, all-round nice guy. He was a little younger but liked to make sure that I was aware that he thought I was beautiful and attractive. He liked to Skype (he lives in a different town than me, so that was just hard to begin with), but would disappear for weeks on end and then reappear and want to converse a lot. He was inconsistent in everything.

#3. The Not-So-Turk Turk. He was raised in the US but holds the values of both countries. He's confusing at the best of times because he started out by taking the lead and saying that we were seeing each other etc. He was generous with his time and was fairly consistent in communication and then sort of disappeared. He had valid excuse but just continued to be more and more inconsistent with communication. I'd actually really like to still be dating but am not sure how to go about having that conversation as the end of dating conversation never happened either...

#4. The Current Jock. He's a pro playing sport here in Turkey and is gentle, kind and sweet when we spend time together. He started out pursuing me and convincing me that he was interested in the long haul. Suddenly he can't be bothered to send a text message or to apologize for standing me up at a staff event recently.

#5. DJ Dud. This guy was considerably younger than me and a DJ for a local radio station. Gorgeous and a charmer for sure but self absorbed (as you should be at his age, I suppose) and more immature than he liked to admit. Once he stomped off when we had a conversation that he didn't like.

So there you go... just a sampling of the gold that I get to weed through in my life. For my Christian readers, I think 2 of them were Christian (the Ex-Jock loves to write on his facebook about how Christian he is... but with how he treated me, I have my doubts).

I know that I need to evaluate how I present myself and how I react to the attentions of these men who pop into my life and want to try dating. I don't need to date or become involved with every attractive guy who showers me with attention for a day or two but I really would like to know what the pattern is with the guys I pick and how I can break it. All advice is welcome!!!


  1. Oh Lord... so I was chatting with Mr. Turk today because he's on my MSN chat still and we talk from time to time... mostly about our jobs, so I'm not too stressed about that and he tries to be flirty or to recall what was, but I'm just not interested... today, he had a slip of the tongue and said he disappeared because he couldn't talk when his gf was around!!! BAHAHAHAHA caught red handed... and when I called him on it, he claimed he hadn't understood my English or the time frame to which I was referring... so he called me and tried to explain... all I can say is: PHEW!! Glad that is the in the past and the eviction notice was already served!!!!

  2. Hye, Angela.. just reading your blog from Paris. You know i'm a fan!
    I am coming to the conclusion that those duds are SCARED to tell you "it's over".. so they just disappear.
    Boooh on them, such a shame but doesn't it make sense?

  3. I think you're right N.... *sigh* I just need to find a guy who doesn't want to say it's over and not because he's scared but because he wants to stay. :) If you know any...let me know!!

  4. My question/advice is to find someone/a group to vet potential boys through. I know that if I had listened to you and the "gang" I never would have dated the duds I did. Recall, if you will, the conversation in my kitchen about "Loser Larry." If you have issues with discernment around men, then the best way to fix that is to get some close friends to help teach you discernment by vetting your dudes to weed out the duds..... :)