Friday, March 4, 2011

And then there were none....

Do you ever notice how your life goes in a cyclic motion? You spiral up and then down over and over again? I know that mine does and right now I seem to be caught between both the ups and downs of my spiral. In one sense, I feel like I am spiraling up because I am learning so much about myself and growing myself into the woman I know I want to be. I feel like my spirit is gaining wings and my soul is opening to love. But on the other hand, I feel like I am spiraling downwards too. A few months back I had NUMEROUS prospects. Men were seeking me out, contacting me, flirting all the time, asking me out and generally lifting that part of my spirit. Slowly but surely each one has dropped off in the last few weeks. They've either stopped calling or emailing (which is actually fine because none of them were men that I wanted long term relationships with) or disappeared from my view (which is also good because it keeps me from getting distracted from my goal - to find my future husband), and I just haven't attracted much attention from men lately. It's okay, I don't feel like suddenly I'm less attractive or taking backward steps or anything... I guess I just miss the attention. Isn't that awful?! ;) There you go, men of the world... I'm admitting it... we women LOVE, NEED and CRAVE male attention, or just attention in general.
So a few months back I was getting more than my fair share of male attention and lately it's been a downward spiral towards NO attention. Now, please don't think that this entry is a self-pitying look at why or how I am not getting this attention... it's simply an observation and reflection. As I said, I'm also on an upward spiral in my life right now that is so much more important to me and will eventually bring about the kind of attention that I crave for a lifetime. So, even though there are none at the moment... I'm actually happy about it. I'm happy to wait and grow myself first... that way, when the attention comes, not only will I be ready, but I will be able to discern what is the right attention for me! Life is good!


  1. LOL I think my brain is spiraling from reading this blog post! :) I am glad you are in an upward spiral. But ya gotta fix your post...we don't just crave male attention. We crave GOOD, meaningful male attention. Like, when men really listen to us. And don't stare at our boobs. Actually, forget that last one because I think it's impossible...

  2. ah... April, this is TRUE!!! Thanks for that all important edit... I'm telling you, any of my pieces should go through you first!! amen sista!!! As for that last one... one guy last night was telling me how his friend could just tell I had a golden heart... as he said it he grabbed his chest with one hand like he was grabbing at mine... I laughed so hard and out loud... so funny.