Yup, that's right... I've said it, I am aware, and I don't care... I.HAVE.PITY.PARTIES... sometimes. It's not a common or regular occurrence, but occasionally I sit back, look at all the others around me and get a little sad for myself. Recently I had a mini one (thank God Sophia was here to drag me out of my melancholy and silliness). What brings them on? Well, gang, believe it or not it's the happiness of my friends and family. Sure, I am happy for them. Couldn't be happier or wish that anyone else had that measure of happiness more than who has it. I genuinely rejoice when a friend gets married or meets a great someone else to consider for their lives. I grin on the inside and out when they are proposed to, or have a great date, or feel giddy at the first words of love from their partner. I really do... and generally, I do dive into the woe is me sentiment at all... but every once in a while I get sick and tired of reading all the goodness happening for other people (and it's nothing to do with the people themselves.. .it's to do with me and me alone). I sometimes wonder when I get to have a turn, when do I get to have that kiss that feels like lightning? When do I get to be giddy about a date or those fantastic three words that make your heart swell and your eyes brim over with joy? When do I get to feel the warmth of an embrace that is more than just physical? When do I get to look down at my ring finger and see the physical expression of someone's love and promise for me? When do I get to declare to the world that I am in love and choosing to spend my life loving that person? When do I get to hear that declaration in regards to me?
I know, I know... count the blessings I've got... and I do. I really and truly do see that I am blessed. I have an amazing, supportive family and friends. I get to work and travel at the same time. I have a God that truly loves me and cares for me. I have my health. I have a job that I LOVE. I am blessed... BUT (and there it is, the big but) I want to SHARE IT!!! *sigh* So there we go... that's what pity party me looks like. Not all that attractive, I know... whiny... but that's her. :)
"The Perfect Relationship"
5 years ago