As I mentioned in my previous post, jealousy is an ugly thing and it can make a person ugly if they let it eat at them and make them bitter. As I struggle to figure out who I am, what I really want and how it's all supposed to fit together, I am prone to be jealous of those around me who have what my heart desires... I know that the grass is always greener on the other side and that being married isn't any easier than being single, but what can I say? I am weak at times and fall victim to the jealousy that threatens to consume. As I wrote my earlier post (and this often happens for me), I gained perspective and a calm over me.
In my writing, things often become more clear because in my writing, I release the emotion through my fingers and onto the page or the blog, as the case may be. It is a gift, and I truly believe that. I don't mean to say that I am a good writer, by any means. In fact, I am pretty sure that this is rambling and my organization and grammar aren't that great... but that isn't the point of this blog or of anything I have ever written. I write it for my own personal, self-prescribed therapy and in the hopes that someone reading it will identify with me and perhaps feel better. I also hope that some of the entries are funny enough to evoke a laugh, and most of all, I hope the entries are honest enough to let people see the truth of being single at 34.
Anyway, back to the topic: the cure for jealousy. I really think that the cure for my jealousy was to turn it into something else. It's like worry... the more you worry, the more nervous, upset, anxious, sad etc you get and then you cycle into more worry. But if when that worry begins to come over you, you turn it into positive thoughts and prayers, you will have harnessed it for a better purpose for you and those involved... and so that is how I am approaching my jealousy. When I begin to feel jealous over something that shouldn't matter so much, I will harness those thoughts through positivity and prayer and I will turn them into congratulations and happiness for the ones getting what my heart desires. It won't be easy, but I know it will work.
My other cure, is to go out for a couple drinks with the girls and to just laugh as much as possible. That's what I did tonight and it helped me gain perspective on what is really important. It also helped me to remember that I am the one who has the power to turn those thoughts and feelings into something better. Sure, I need help with it... and I know where my Help comes from... but I know and I believe that it can be done.
SO there is my profound soap box moment... all conjured up in my head over an evening of laughs with good people and a few tasty beers. Life is good, I have no real complaints and nothing to be jealous of because I am BLESSED.
"The Perfect Relationship"
7 years ago