Friday, November 13, 2009

Jealousy is Ugly

No matter which way you look at it, jealousy is ugly... and right now I am feeling jealous. I am jealous of the things I don't have (I know, I am paying much too much attention to the unimportant things around me and need to pay more attention to the important things within me)... and those things include a relationship, a life shared with another, friend's engagements, marriages and families, and happiness. There is no particular reason for me to feel this way, I just get overwhelmed sometime with my own loneliness when I look out and see myself surrounded by happy, busy lives. I know that this means I need to turn my eyes inward and upward and writing about it on here helps me to do that... So thanks for reading, even though it isn't a funny or sarcastic or enjoyable entry. It's just a window into the rawness of my emotions. I am constantly growing, changing and figuring out who I am and writing it on here allows me to release it all. Call it stress management.
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4 comments:

  1. Tassie RachelNovember 14, 2009 at 12:23 AM

    You're not alone in your thinking, I skipped out on attending the wedding of some acquaintances from church today cause I just couldn't face turning up at a wedding of people 10- 13 years younger than me, alone.

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  2. AngelaMaeNovember 14, 2009 at 11:42 AM

    Rach... I so understand that. Like I love my friends and am always happy for them but it is like a little stab in the heart. But, I know that I just need to trust God in helping me through it all.

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  3. AnonymousNovember 16, 2009 at 4:25 AM

    It's natural to feel a little envy, don't feel it's ugly unless it drives you to ugly actions! Sometimes when you're feeling unfulfilled you just need a little time off from those who appear to have it all, that's totally okay (although often hard to manage). Just remember that you never know what'll happen next and as long as you're growing and making positive stides in life, you're doing great, even if you the ugly greem monster comes up once in a while.

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  4. Amar MandairNovember 19, 2009 at 8:27 PM

    I'm there, right there with you. Right now the loneliness just seems to much to bear.

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