Advice a la Wendy Williams

I love watching the Wendy Williams show. This woman pulls no punches, she tells it like it is. Today I was watching and she was talking about some celeb who was in their 20s and getting married. She asked the question: Is it too young to get married? And she prefaced her answer with an each to their own and then went on to say yes. And I agree with her. No, not just because I am in the middle of my 30s do I think it is too young to get married in your 20s. I agree that each to their own, but I also agree that times are changing... life isn't like it was for my mother or grandmother. They were expected to be married and in the home caring for the family and home in their 20s. But now we have the freedom to have wonderful careers, to extend our education as far and as high as we want, to travel the world gaining knowledge and culture, to create the being we have always wanted to be. And Wendy said that women should do those things in their 20s and I agree. I know lots of people who got married in their 20s and have wonderful marriages, so obviously that worked out for them but for me... I would never have been ready then. I just knew so little of who I was and I am just figuring that out now. So now I am ready for that next stage but for all you lovely young 20-somethings out there, don't rush. There are things that Wendy suggests all women need to do before settling down and I agree... here is my twist on her list:

-take a trip on your own (literally by yourself)
-take a trip with your friends (just the girls and be silly)
-live on your own
-get the education you want
-live part or all of your dream
-make friends with people you didn't think you would
-volunteer for a cause you are passionate about
-develop your career of choice

I just think that your 20s are a time to really see who you are, test your own boundaries and become the person you want to be. And if you find love during that time, great but if not... that's okay too... you have your 30s for that! ;) I was so happy to hear a celebrity say things along this line today, it really helped me put my failures in love in perspective. I love it.

Millionaire Matchmaker

So I love this show because Patti is amazing. She really tells it like it is! But I will say I have learned a lot from just seeing these men. They are insane! It just goes to show that most men are there for what they can get... selfish. And it seems to me (now, I am generalizing... bad, I know... from the men on this show which are the extremes) that most men are just selfish and that the richer they are, the more selfish they are. *sigh*

Good for the Soul

One of the best things for the soul, or at least my soul, is time with good friends. I have been so blessed in my life to have some really good girlfriends who keep me honest, let me see the value of me, and help me to laugh. Last week, I had the chance to go and see one of these such friends. It was a time where I got so much healing from the hurts I've suffered this past year. So, thanks Sophia for the time I had to just be in your presence, bask in your love as a friend and heal in my very broken heart. Best Spring Break of my life.

Facing the Truth

So today I got a call from the guy that I've seen a few times and that I really like. He was sweet, funny, flirty and reaffirmed why I like him so much. But he is also the guy that used the excuse that I am a foreigner as a reason not to pursue me further... he is also the guy that doesn't call or email or anything for weeks on end and thinks that is okay. During the phone call it came up and he talked about my decision to move to Turkey as the reason why we weren't together. At that moment, the truth reared it's ugly head at me and at him. As I began telling him about my decision to leave the US, the reality hit me: I am running away from being lonely. At least if I start somewhere new, I'm lonely because I am new there. But if I stay here and keep things going with him... I just get to be lonely. I can't stand to be lonely anymore... so I just keep running.
There, the truth is out... in print, for everyone to read. *sigh* And as the truth can, it hurts. But as it can, it will also heal hopefully.

Road Running

So I've taken up running this year. I've dabbled in it before but this year, I've decided to make it one of my sports. I've really come to enjoy it and I hate missing days of running for any reason. Today I went out for a longer run (for me anyway, I am still shamefully slow) along the roadside. The reason this appears in this blog is because this is when I seem to get the most action! hahahaha Several men gave me long looks and nods out of their cars, I even had a public transport driver stare me down, and there was a few catcalls too. I don't dress cute when I run (or jog as the case may be), I am sweaty and a full on mess, but it seems to work for me. hahaha I don't get it, but it makes me feel like a star out there in the roads.

Ripple Effect

When does it end?!?!?! My break up with Kelvin was like a giant rock in a very still pond and the ripple effect is still going on almost a year later. I am leaving the US, a place I never would have wanted to live except for the fact that the man I was in love with asked me to come here, and it is going to cost me a lot because I have to re-import my car to Canada (after importing it here). It's just a big mess and it kills me... I took a $10,000 pay cut to come here, I haven't received hardly any professional development in my job so that is like a loss of $500 a year, I've had to shell out about $500+ a year in supplies for my classroom because I teach in a public school, I paid around $10,000 in moving here, bought a car that I wouldn't have bought if I didn't honour his request to move here... And the ripple keeps going and going and going... When does it end?!?!?!

Now, that's a man!!

Have you ever watched the show, Kendra? Don't judge me people. When you don't have a social life, you get sucked into the lives of people as presented to you on reality TV. So, anyway, have you ever watched it? I got sucked in last season when she met and married Hank Baskett (he plays football professionally). I loved their story and how they handled life together. I particularly love Kendra's laugh and all her goofiness.
However, this season has started and a lot of it has been to do with their adorable little baby and being a new family. The last two episodes (which were the first ones of the season) had me in tears. Not because I was jealous of them or pitying myself, but because there was something beautiful there. Kendra has really been struggling with her image and losing the baby weight. She comes from an industry that is driven by sexiness and the visual image you present (modeling) and has had a hard time with the weight gain etc. She is emotional and not feeling very sexy etc. It's been good for me (a chubby girl) to see that she is understanding how living in a bigger body isn't fun (now, I still think I am beautiful and sexy and I am losing weight all the time).
But the best part was the way that Hank has dealt with it. His love for Kendra is real and he uses words, actions and touch to reassure her, comfort her and make her understand that she is all he needs. Seeing that reaffirms to me that those guys are out there. Maybe they are a rare breed, but they certainly aren't just the invention of Hollywood as I was beginning to believe them to be. So thanks, Kendra, thanks for sharing your insecurities, but also the truth of what real love looks like and what a REAL MAN looks like!